For Husbands and Fathers

I've been working through Colossians and came to a very familiar passage the other day:
"Wives submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged." Col. 3:18-21

This is a pretty common passage, especially when it comes to the structure of the home. There are two things here for husbands and fathers that I noticed. For every instruction to one family member there is a corresponding one for the man. You have some instruction for the wife and then a follow-up command for the husband. You have some instruction for the child and then a follow-up command for the father. If you needed more biblical proof that the man is to be the leader in the home then here you go. So, my two things....

1. You want your wife to be submissive? Then love her and don't be a jerk. Submission is more than just obedience. Obedience isn't what Paul is after here. That comes with the child. Your wife is not a child. Submission has more to do with "follow-ship" and the recognition of headship. If you are not the leader in the home, chances are its not your wife's fault (although that's not to excuse wives from responsibility). Ask yourself this, who wants to follow a jerk? Not me. If you're harsh, demanding, and unloving, don't sit around and wonder why your wife doesn't follow your lead. Also, her submission is "fitting in the Lord." This means that if you're not leading in a way that she can follow - by loving her - then not only are you sinning, but you are contributing to her sin.

2. When I came to verse on children obeying their parents I wasn't thinking of how that applied to me until I read the next verse addressed to fathers. Truett isn't at the age where I can simply tell him to obey. However, he is at the age where he can recognize when I'm in a bad mood. He can be provoked and he can be discouraged. I want him to obey me as he grows. One, it teaches him about authority, but mostly, according to this verse, it pleases the Lord. I want my son to please the Lord in all that he does. However, if I'm provoking him and being harsh with him, he won't want to obey me and will become discouraged. Just like with your wife, what kid wants to obey a jerk? If he's not obeying, he's not pleasing the Lord. The discipleship of my child and his obedience to me is tied directly to the way I treat him and encourage him. This means that if you're not fathering your child in a way that he can obey you - by encouraging - then not only are you sinning but you are contributing to the sin of your child.

When I was writing about this in my journal I really felt the weight of responsibility of shepherding my family. The Lord has given me a great one, I pray that I will be able to lead them in ways that they can grow in the Lord as they grow in our family.

I pray that for you - husband and father - as well.