Not sure how to say this...

I have no idea how to write about what I'm about to write about but after having a conversation with Shana tonight and another one two nights ago with a guy from work I should probably give a word of testimony that has been lingering around my heart for the past few years.

I'm gonna talk about money.

It seems to be on everyone's mind these days with job loss, houses foreclosing, and bailouts bailing. I realize that many people are scared about what is going to happen to them. People's financial future is in ruin and the present is looking bleak. Part of it is because they haven't saved or they spent too much money on too much stuff. Some people just plain got a raw deal. Maybe their company went bankrupt because of bad business decisions and/or greed. I have a lot of sympathy for these people. Regardless of the why, it still will be hard times for these people and the line is getting longer. (500 million a month according to Pelosi - sorry, I couldn't resist). However, I don't have sympathy for these people for the reason that you think. Let me back up a bit.

Three years ago Shana and I were home owners. I had a job making good money. I was the least highest paid staff member in a decent sized church for the Atlanta area. However, I had money, insurance, and a great retirement plan at the age of 27 - and I was serving the Lord. Shana and I worked together and she made decent money with the same benefits. Some regrettable things happened at the church where I was serving and the Pastor was basically forced to resign. A great friend of mine resigned next. Then me. I was inevitable collateral damage - but that's another story. Shana was next to go, basically because she was my wife. I was offered a 2 month severance package - Shana was not. We had a mortgage, no jobs, two dogs, and a partridge and a pear tree.

Shana got another job pretty quickly. I applied around the country for other ministry jobs - and by around the country I mean Boston, Seattle, and everywhere in between. Just something to get us far away. However, the Lord didn't open those doors. I eventually ended up at The Fresh Market - where I am still - two and a half years later. Shana was making decent money for her position and experience but I was making less than half of what I had been making.

Skipping way ahead - Shana was treated poorly at her job and quit and came to work with me at Fresh Market. We decided to come to seminary to start over. We finally sold our house in a very bad market and moved in with my parents until it was time to go to Louisville. Finally we moved here.

I was able to transfer to the Fresh Market here, but when we moved, Shana didn't have a job. Within a few weeks Shana got a great job where she works now making, again, decent money for her position and experience. I'm a full time student (14 hours this semester) and work 30 hours per week at TFM.

The other night at work I was talking with a guy in the bakery about the stimulus bill that just got passed. He was recently laid off by Linens-n-Things. He was the store manager and they closed his store because the guy who runs the company is a moron. Now he works full time at TFM making way less than he did before. He said that he hoped the bailout passes because he wants to continue to live the kind of lifestyle he used to living (I could go in one direction with this comment, but I'll stay on task)...

Here's my point. We are spoiled. Badly spoiled. Christians, pagans, we're all the same. Just flat spoiled. Please hear my heart on this. I am speaking as someone who just a few years ago was not rich, but was certainly not hurting financially and has been incredibly humbled by a God who loves me enough to keep me close to his side. All that stuff that I just wrote about...God did that. He took me out of the church. He sold our house. He paid our bills. He got us jobs. He took us out of jobs. He brought us to Louisville. He still pays our bills. He pays for school. Not through loans or savings. How can I say that? Because I've been there and seen it first hand.

I'd say 90% of my friends and family fall into this spoiled category. Myself included. We want it, we buy, we don't care, and that's fine with us. After all, why shouldn't I have it? I can just charge it. Forget trying to keep up with the Joneses, I'm trying to keep up with my imagination. Hey, its the American way. But let's face it, it's not God's way. I'm not Dave Ramsey or anything, but I've read Matthew 6:19-34 - "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth..."

Friends and family who read this blog - stop living for money. We think we don't, but we do. We don't save. We don't spend wisely. We probably don't tithe regularly. We don't honor God with our money. Some of you do, but most of us don't. When we do a few times a year we feel really good about ourselves, but then that new gadget comes out or that new pair of shoes is in the window - "where's my credit card?!" We don't want to have a baby yet or another baby because it will mean that we'll lose some income or we won't be able to afford "that" house or car. We don't want to do without. Like my friend at work said, you won't be able to have "that lifestyle anymore."

Look, I don't have it all figured out. In fact, I don't have any of it figured out. If it were left up to me we'd be broke. Thank God I have Shana. She has taught me so much. But the credit goes to the Lord for what he has bascially forced into our hearts. I don't say that lightly. He has pruned, chopped, weaned, and taken away a lot. We still struggle a good bit. Since we've been here I think we've made budget for the month just a handfull of times because we haven't been wise.

It seems like we've barely blinked our eyes and now we're headed down a road of more financial indecision. A baby will be here soon and we have to decide what to do about Shana's job. Will she go back to work or not? If she doesn't, how will we make it? Will we move again for the fifth time in five years of marriage and downsize again? If that's what it takes we will. Our perspective is incredibly different now than it was three years ago. The Lord will take care of us. We are not worried. We see people here making it on way less than we have with bigger families than ours. We make it on way less than we did a few years ago. You can too. These are tough financial times - at least that's what the news says. Although I don't see it among my friends. We're living the same. You think it's a little tight because you didn't get to go to Starbucks and Chic-Fil-A 10 times this week...you only went 5. I apologize if that is crossing the line. Forgive me. But you are my brothers and sisters and we are to encourage each other in the Lord. I'm not saying that wanting things is bad. I want a new camera for when the baby comes. But that would in no way be wise to purchase that. Plus, the one we have works fine. The problem comes when the stuff you want to have and want to keep gets in the way of your obedience, surrender, and trust of the Lord. "You can't serve both God and money." "I want to trust the Lord," we'll say, "but instead of being wise and waiting and trusting, I'll do it my way." So stop trusting yourself and trust the Lord.

Here's what we did - we repented of our greed and turned to the Lord. Just like salvation. I hope this doesn't come across as arrogant. If I boast, I boast in what the Lord has done. Seriously. These have not been easy lessons. I don't enjoy taking my lunch to work - but I have time to read and study during my lunch break because I don't go out (and I greatly appreciate and enjoy the occassions that I do get to eat out). I miss ESPN and The Food Network and TiVo. But T.V. doesn't rule my life as much as it did - in fact, now that I think about it, I don't miss it that much at all - except maybe Alton Brown.

So I say ALL that to say this...

Shana hugged me a few minutes ago and told me how happy she is. I agreed.
(Now go read Matthew 6)